Should Ellie Do A 'Shirley Valentine'?

The idea of taking off and touring the world now is very appealing and I don’t think it’s a mad idea at all.  Hundreds of middle-aged couples are deciding to take a year out before retirement sets in, just as teenagers do before starting university.  Indeed, it could just be what is needed to pep up your relationship, but I think you need to handle the whole project very carefully if it is going to be successful. 

First of all, you need to enthuse your husband.  Is there anywhere in the world you know he’d love to visit if only he had the time and the money?  If so, could you make it a viable proposition?  Get out videos of the places he wants to visit or your preferred destinations and play them to him while he’s being a snoring couch potato, nudging him awake frequently.  If he’s so glued to the box as you suggest, he won’t be able to help but see them.

Tell him that you plan to go travelling alone, even if he doesn’t want to come and then ask him to help you work out the finances.  Bet that will make him sit up and take notice. 

If he believes you mean it, you could then start looking at the practicalities such as how much could you get for your home if you did rent it out?  How much would a motor home cost, and could you use it for holidays when your year-long journey is over?  What tax would you have to pay?  How could you save money?  Would you need to eat into retirement capital to fund the project? 

Persuade him to help you work out all the figures.  Then get some maps from the library and suggest routes you might take to the places you long to see.  Write to the AA or RAC for route planners.  Obviously, driving across any country may be weather dependent so study weather charts at different times of the year together on the internet to see when it might be viable to visit where. 

Just talking about the possibility of what you want to do will add a whole new perspective to your conversations.  Even if you don’t make it, you might at least awaken some enthusiasm and excitement in what sounds like a boring, if very solid marriage.

To prove to him that far from coming to the end of his active life as retirement nears, there’s a whole new vista beckoning why not look on Age Concern’s website where there’s a whole section about the exciting things older people do.  Log on to www.ageconcern.org.uk and click on their Staying Active button for a glance at what other Baby Boomers are getting up to.  I do hope you can tip him out of that armchair and persuade him to go with you.  Good luck.