Warming & Warning Signs Of Internet Dating

Dating via the internet - the very thought of using a computer to find a partner would have sent shivers down the spine of most over 45s just a few years ago. But now, savvy web surfers are finding it can be fun to seek a partner by using a reputable internet dating site.

Surprisingly, latest figures show that mature men outnumber women two to one online.

When over 45s go socialising in pubs, clubs or at conventional singles groups, women are always in the majority. However, when the same age group go partner-seeking on the internet, through websites such as Dating Direct, over 55 per cent are men and fewer than 45 per cent are women.

What is more, when men aged over 45 go hunting for a partner through a dating website, they will spend around 26 minutes online, more than twice as long as the girls who average just over 11 minutes a session! Could it be that women are more street savvy than men? It takes a girl less time to sort out the difference between people with real humour from those who are a bit 'funny'.

So if it's love you're after, a reputable dating site is the place to be. It can be a very positive experience. First IM (instant message) each other. Then chat on the phone. But when it comes to meeting your new cyber date, take heed of our 'Warmings' and 'Warnings'.

The First Date

He buys her flowers - a great greeting point but don't make the bunch too pretentious or you could frighten her off.

Listen, don't talk. If you've just met a new potential partner, be prepared to listen to what they have to say. Discuss films, books, politics. Drop children, sex and ex-partners. Slagging off a former partner or criticising your last cyber-date will only make your current date suspicious of what you might have to say about them. Don't foul up a first date by spending the entire time bemoaning your lot. Positive people are so much more fun to be with.

Admire, don't suggest. If he thinks she looks great he should say so. She might just love his tie. Offer compliments. Don't suggest that next time she ought to wear red, or ask her shoe size and send her pictures of the shoes you'd like to buy her for your next date. I know of one woman who received a text picture of shoes he fancied. They never dated again.

Look, don't touch. Putting an unwelcome hand across the table with a new date could be as useful as saying goodbye before you've had time to say hello.

Flirt, don't go for a first time fling. Need glasses to read the menu? No need to fret. They're one of the all time greatest flirting tools. Twiddle them, twirl them. Use your hands to illustrate a point. If you don't wear glasses, you could use a pen. Or even your napkin. But don't put a hand in the small of her back to guide her, until you are sure it's welcome. Don't reach for his hand until you can be sure that it will be happy clutching yours across the road. Treat one another like royalty at the start of your cyber relationship, and you might just be looking at a 'happy ever after' ending to your fairy tale.

Why Try Internet Dating?

You can go looking for love at any time that is convenient to you, day or night.

You open opportunities to meet new friends in cyberspace you might never have come across any other way.

When you join a chat room or get involved in an IM conversation and you have a built-in 'safety net'. Responsible sites such as Dating Direct offer a 24/7 monitoring service with a moderator to 'listen in' as they happen and halt any 'dodgy' conversations. They also know the real identity of their members, and can contact them through their bank details.

Through IM, you have the opportunity to get to 'know' a total stranger and decide whether or not you like looks, share interests, or tastes in food or music before you commit yourself to anything more than time online.

You can progress a relationship at your own pace, meeting only after you've spoken several times on the phone and when you feel ready and comfortable to do so.

Things To Remember

Anyone can be anyone they choose on the internet. There's no guarantee that the profile you read is the true profile of the person who posted it, or is even a photograph, of the person who has posted it. Recently a person claiming to be a 'Beckham look-alike' posted a picture of the real DB on a website!

Never offer anyone you meet on a dating site your bank details, money or any personal details about yourself, no matter how the question is couched or what they say you will get in return.

When you get to the phone chat stage, be curious about your new friend. But don't offer too much information about yourself.

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