Keep The Passion Alive

The flames of passion don’t have to die down with a long-term relationship or marriage.

Despite the commonly held belief that relationships get better the longer we are together, new research has revealed that nearly 30% of UK adults attribute the lack of 'spark' or sex in their relationship to the length of time they have been with their partner.

Compounding this, only 1 in 4 couples who have been together for more than 10 years describe their relationship as passionate.

This dramatic changee to our sex lives over time has prompted the launch of a new ‘SortED in 10’ initiative from Bayer HealthCare to help couples to rekindle their love lives.

The new research, which was carried out amongst 2,335 adults in the UK, also showed an astonishing 17% of UK adults never talk about sex with their partner and this figure rises to a huge 37% for people in the over 55 age group.

With 14% of people over 55 attributing lack of sex to treatable sexual problems such as erectile dysfunction, the SortED in 10 campaign, spearheaded by British racing legend Sir Stirling Moss, is encouraging couples to make time for each other and arrange to treat themselves to a 'date'.

Arranging a date together allows couples to take time out of their busy schedules to talk to each other more openly about their relationship and work towards regaining the love life they used to share.

Typically this would involve taking it in turns to plan an evening out, deciding on the venue and informing their partner of appropriate dress, location and at what time they should arrive. The rule is for the individuals to make their own way there, only meeting each other once they have arrived at their destination. Popular potential dates from the research includes:

1 Meal out at a restaurant
2 Meeting in a bar for drinks
3 Picnic or meal prepared by your partner
4 Night in with a takeaway and good film
5 Pop/rock concert
6 Cinema
7 Theatre
8 Sporting event
9 Bowling
10 Bingo

Many couples choose to embark on these dates as a way of making time for each other and leaving the hum drum day-to-day worries at home. It is not uncommon for couples who have perhaps been together for years, have children or find themselves under pressure at work, to leave little or no time to concentrate on their partner and the life they share together.

"It is important that couples, particularly those that have been together for a long time, talk to each other openly about their relationship,” says Suzie Hayman, a Relate-trained counselor.

“One good way to reopen these channels of communication is to look back to what they were like when they first got together and dating can help them to recapture that feeling.”

However, as couples get older, there is more chance that physical problems will affect their sexual intimacy. For example, as many as 1 in 2 men over the age of 40 suffer from erectile dysfunction at some stage.

Hayman recommends that couples tackle these problems as they arise, and stresses the need for an ‘established dialogue’ - something that can often fade over time.

Top 10 Dating Tips

Make the time - it's easy in a busy life to let day to day commitments get in the way of spending time as a couple.
Diary it - so you have no excuses, put your date in the schedule and treat it like any other important appointment that can't be broken.
Take it in turns - on alternate dates each of you gets to decide what you're going to do, how to dress and where to meet.
Go out or stay in - meet in a bar or restaurant, or welcome your partner home to a special night in on your own.
Something old - rekindle the feelings you once had by going back to somewhere or doing something from when you were first courting.
Something new - kick start your romance afresh with something you've never done.
Prepare for it - spend the day in eager anticipation, and do the planning (book babysitters or send the kids to friends, put together a picnic basket, get tickets for the match etc.) to make it go with a swing.
Dress up for it - whether you're going for a night out or a walk in the park, wear something that shows you've made an effort.
Use it - this is your time so ban chat about kids and family or work and make a point of talking about sex.
Enjoy it! Give yourself permission to relax, enjoy and focus on yourselves as a vital couple.

For more information on Erectile Dysfunction, please visit www.sortEDin10.co.uk