Just say no to fighting

Nancy Reagan's "Just Say No" anti-drug campaign was a huge success.
Kids made a verbal commitment and a mental stance to avoid drugs
before they were even of the age to be tempted. When they were
introduced to drugs, they knew they could "just say no" and not feel
alone.

Drug use among school age children plummeted in the 1980s and many
have held up Nancy Reagan's program as the chief reason. People who
decide how they are going to cross a bridge before they ever get to it
have a much greater chance of not falling in the water.

Why can't we start a *Just Say No to Fighting* campaign? I'll admit,
we are against tough odds. It is perfectly acceptable (and often
expected) in our modern culture for a husband and wife to fight. Many
marriage and relationship counselors even encourage it in the name of
*communication.*

Yes, it is true. My wife and I have never had a fight. Not in our
123 months of marriage. I don't intend on starting. I made a
decision when I was dating Athena that I would never fight with her.
I saw firsthand how the curse of fighting destroyed my parents' and
dozens of other marriages.

Certainly there are times when emotions get wrinkled, and the natural
inclination is to blow your top. I sometimes have to bite my tongue
so I don't say something I would later regret (since when is
self-control a bad thing?). Having a naturally calm personality has
admittedly made it easier for me to think before I speak than it is
for some people. But that shouldn't stop anyone from trying.

Unlike many other relationship experts, I don't see fights or
arguments as healthy. I just can't imagine how hurting my spouse with
verbal and emotional barbs (yes - they do cause serious pain) could
ever be encouraged under the guise of *opening up and sharing your
feelings.* Baloney! I don't need to raise my voice or throw dishes to
say I disagree or to explain what I am feeling. Neither does anyone
else.

We don't fall for the drug pusher's lies that *everyone's doing it* or
*just a little bit won't hurt* and we shouldn't be so gullible to
accept the wives tales that everyone fights and that it is a healthy
part of relationships.

Fighting is not harmless. It is addictive and if continued, it is
likely to cause irreparable damage. It's time to get clean. Go and
fight no more.

Something to think about... 

by Michael Webb

copyright50connect.co.uk

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