Objects Of Desire

The psychology of sexual fetishes.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS: Welcome to our webcast. I'm David Folk Thomas.  The topic today is fetishism.  Now, you've probably heard people say, "Oh, this person has a foot fetish," or, "This guy likes that.  It's kind of a fetish."  What really is fetishism? It's kind of like if think the object of your desire should be a person, but maybe the object of your desire really is more an object than that person.  We're going to get to the bottom of the whole fetish deal.

Joining me are two experts who are going to help us put it into perspective.  On my left is Robert J. Filewich.  He is a clinical psychologist specializing in anxiety disorders.  He's also the Executive Director for the Center for Behavior Therapy in White Plains, New York.  Sitting next to Robert is Dr. Ken Rosenberg.  He's a psychiatrist affiliated with New York Presbyterian Hospital and Cornell University Medical Center in New York City.  He's in private practice in New York, as well, specializing in substance abuse and sexual disorders.  Gentlemen, thanks for joining us.

Let's start with you, Robert.  Right off the bat, give us the technical definition of a fetish.

ROBERT J. FILEWICH, PhD:  A fetish is an object.  Fetishism is really a disorder whereby a person is experiencing extreme difficulties in their lives because of the fact that they like these particular objects to provide for them a great deal of sexual arousal.  The only way they can achieve this type of sexual satisfaction is with an inanimate object, a non-living object.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  Ken, do you agree or disagree?  Or add to that, if you like.

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  I absolutely agree.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  Fifty points.

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  I think that what Dr. Filewich said is right on.  The important point is that it interferes in your life, right?  That it's not just something you like to do or you want to do, but something you have to do.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  It's almost like there's a compulsion.

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  Absolutely.  Like there's no other way to have an orgasm except with a shoe or with a bra or a stocking.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  I mentioned in the introduction having a foot fetish.  That seems to be the one everybody talks about.  "This person has a foot fetish."  Technically, is that a fetish, if the foot is part of a person -- it's not inanimate?

ROBERT J. FILEWICH, PhD:  Technically, it's not really, truly a fetish.  It's what we call a partialism, a part of the body that's an extremely important part to achieve sexual arousal.  But you could actually extend it out somewhat when you talk about shoes.

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  I've had patients who love shoes, and shoes are the essential object.  In fact, they meet women who send them their shoes.  That's their entrée.  I had a patient who -- some people give you their business cards -- this woman detected in some incredible way that he had a foot fetish and she sent him shoes.  She sent him a pair, and of course they became an item.  Of course, he was only interested in the foot.  And one of the reasons that he's only really interested in the shoes that she sends him -- one of the reasons he might have this problem to begin with -- is becausee a lot of these people are really quite shy and find it really difficult to maintain normal sexual relationships in a healthy way with another human being.  So they then gravitate to particular objects to go ahead and satisfy themselves.

ROBERT J. FILEWICH, PhD:  Right.  People talk about sexual addicts or people being obsessed with sex, and really they're obsessed with dysfunctional sex.  Their everyday sex lives with their partners, if they have partners, are actually quite boring and mundane.  They have a hard time maintaining an erection.  They have a hard time maintaining intimacy, so they really don't suffer from too much sex, they just have too much bad sex or dysfunctional sex.  By "bad," I'm not casting a judgment, I'm just saying for them it becomes a compulsion that interferes in their lives.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  You said shy people might tend toward fetishism.  It seems like you always hear about guys having fetishes.  Do women have fetishes?

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  It is a male disorder.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  Why is it a male disorder?

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  It's an interesting question.  Nobody really knows the answer to that, but most of the time it is.  Maybe it's a genetic component, maybe it's the testosterone, maybe it's various things, but really, research hasn't borne out what the real reason is.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  I've heard before men are more visual.  Would it come to that because they see and object and they are more fixated on it than a woman might be?

ROBERT J. FILEWICH, PhD:  It could be that.  It could be that men are less socialized.  They have more difficult times in social situations than women.  Women find social situations a lot easier.  They talk with each other more.  They experience emotions and feelings a lot more, so they're able to go ahead and develop more healthy, adult sexual relationships than men are, so men will turn to an object to go ahead and satisfy their sexual desire because they find it really difficult to connect with a person who they have a sexual desire for.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  So it could be like a crutch to aid their sexual expression?

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  Maybe, but it's so interesting because, actually, women have, on average, more sexual disorders than men, so it's so interesting that fetishism is a male disorder, whereas the estimates are 41 percent of women have a lifetime prevalence of sexual disorders, 31 percent of men.  So women are over it by 10 percent, but they, of course, have more disorders like anorgasmia and --

ROBERT J. FILEWICH, PhD:  Vaginismus.

KEN ROSENBERG, MD:  Right.

DAVID FOLK THOMAS:  Let's

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