What Is Sex Therapy?

Sex therapy is a highly sophisticated profession, aimed at treating people who have found it impossible to enjoy a fulfilling sexual relationship with their partner.

It's sad that so few British people who live their lives suffering unsatisfactory sex, have the courage to seek out expertise. There are many sex therapists in the UK, who have trained for at least two years, are unbiased towards any sexuality, and competent to give you help, whatever your problem.

Sex therapy normally takes during place fortnightly, one-hour sessions at a clinic, or at the therapist's own space. There is no intimate physical contact with the therapist, nor with each other, during the session. However, you may be instructed to do set tasks at home. Sex therapists treat your problems with complete confidentiality.

Generally, sex therapy works best when both partners visit the therapist together. Sometimes therapists work in couples too.

There are four common problems:

• Desire disorders when you don't excite each other any more.
• Arousal disorders including problems getting wet or having an erection.
• Orgasmic disorders including inability to reach orgasm and ejaculatory disorders.
• Penetration disorders including woman's inability to be penetrated, and men coming as soon as they have entered.

Who can get help?

Anyone can seek help, whether heterosexual or homosexual, whatever age, and whether you are married or not. People without partners may find sex therapy of limited use because sex is usually a two-way thing, affected by relationships.

How it works

You visit the therapist, hopefully with your partner and state what the problem is.

You discuss the problems for an hour, during which the therapist juggles key points between you. This happens, again every week for about four to five months.

In between your sessions, you may need to try out various new ways of communicating, both verbal and physical.

How to find a sex therapist

A referral from your GP is the best way to begin. Once your GP has a general idea of your problem, he/she can probably find you the most suitable therapist nearby. Don't worry about telling your GP about your sexual problems all GPs are discreet and will not gossip about you in your community. The recommended therapist may not be on the National Health. Normally NHS therapists have longer waiting lists, and private therapists cost anything from £15 to £150 an hour.

Alternatively, you might try the local Family Planning Association, STD clinic or other sex advisory service. You can write to the British Association of Sex and Marital Therapists, BASMT, PO Box 62, Sheffield S10 3TS.

Next week: What happens in a sex therapy session?

By Tuppy Owens

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