Give Dad A LaughPosted on: 29 May 2008 by Gareth Hargreaves
Something funny for Father's Day.
You know you've hired the wrong entertainer for your children's party when:
- All the balloon animals are ribbed and lubricated.
- He asks you to sign an insurance disclaimer before he'll start.
- He demands payment up front in cash in a plain brown envelope.
- He does that 'smashing the child's watch with a hammer' trick, but fails to take it off the child's wrist first.
- He stops for a cigarette break every 15 minutes.
- He's dropped off at your house by a prison guard who says he'll collect him in two hours.
- His calling card has a 'parental advisory' sticker on it.
- His first party game is a yard of ale contest.
- His second one is mud wrestling.
- His ventriloquist dummy is dressed in a Nazi uniform.
- The music he uses for musical chairs is Gary Glitter's Greatest Hits.
This extract is taken from Who's The Daddy? Joke Book, by Mike Haskins, published by Prion (an imprint of Carlton Books), £9.99 RRP, available from all good bookshops or online at Amazon for £6.59.
Packed full of amusing anecdotes, funny jokes, silly sayings and quotations, Dad's joke book is sure to be a winning alternative to aftershave or socks for Father's Day.
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