Is Tweeting Cheating?
Posted on: 21 January 2011 by Rhian Mainwaring
I just received a press release announcing a new book called ‘Facebook and your marriage’, which lays out guidelines to keep a happy marriage while using social networks!
I guess it’s no surprise considering the amount of relationships in the past few years that have come to an embarrassing end through the use of new technology. Northerner and all round happy chappy Vernon Kay will forever be seen as a sex texter as will Jason Manford. Though both are now happily settled back with their wives and children, the shame, I would suggest ends up lying more on the spouse. Especially in Tess Daly’s case as the news broke in the same week her book ‘The Baby Dairies’ was released, and just weeks after Manford’s mishaps, his wife gave birth to their third child. What are these men doing?
Yes, it’s not just men, Liz Hurley and Shane Warne stepped into the limelight with her twitter flirting sessions, which simultaneously broke up two marriages, only to be left high and dry weeks later by the cricketers philandering ways! The man is a player, the woman an idiot and harlot, but that’s a whole other debate!
To me, it’s simple. Flirting, trying to flirt, sourcing attention from someone who you’re attracted to whether it be in person or on email, twitter, Facebook , text message or Morse code is wrong. Not strung up by the balls-wrong, but disrespectful-wrong. In my view, if you feel the need to find affirmation or attention from elsewhere then you are not in a fulfilling relationship, if that’s the case then you should be speaking to your partner, not poking a stranger on Facebook.
I guess it’s easy for me to rant and rave about the moral code of relationships, I’ve been with my partner for two years not 20 and with no children or responsibilities our lives are relatively straightforward and I’m madly in love with him. I have never and would never act in a way that would disrespect him, but perhaps it is naïve to say that?
I am willing to admit that I have black and white rules about relationships – anything disrespectful to your partner in one way or another is cheating. I would be mortally offended if my boyfriend went to a strip club, but some women I know have no problem with that, then there’s the porn debate, how much contact is acceptable with ex partners, is a sneaky glimpse at a woman’s boobs on the street acceptable? There’s already a minefield of moral conduct questions out there, but now we’ve been thrust hundreds more dilemmas all because of the innovations in mobile technology!
There’s an argument that the invention of social media has left us feeling isolated, like outcasts of society where the more online social interaction we experience the less grounded in the real world we feel. Is that the answer to so many social media infidelities? Does tweeting or facebooking seem innocent because we don’t imagine a real person at the end of the other computer, and because of that initial ‘innocent’ encounter, does it then become so much easier to take it too far?
The problem with all of these questions is that they can only be answered by the person who’s been wronged, or not as they might see it. A girlfriend of mine dropped into a conversation that her boyfriend had swapped numbers with a girl in a bar – when questioned if I thought this was acceptable I hit the roof, “No it’s not (enter expletives here) acceptable” was my response.
We’re not talking about epidemic levels of duplicity. There will always be people willing to cheat on their partners, but unfortunately for them their telephone is a mobile truth centre, unless you’re clever enough to thoroughly hide the evidence, you’re even more likely to get found out. Perhaps we just know more people are cheating simply because they’re getting found out, we can now trace where people are on Facebook places, or foursquare mapping and who they’re with on Facebook tagging, you can even download apps to trace numbers and their users whereabouts! Scary stuff eh, yes it is if you’re being unfaithful.
So here’s to the social networks, you’ve brought us many new ways to cheat and even more ways to get found out!
I’d love to hear what you think on the subject and if you need the self help guide 'Facebook and your Marriage' , click here