The Funny & Bizarre

Posted on: 20 December 2007 by Gareth Hargreaves

Sex laws around the world.

We can clone human beings, travel into space and fly anywhere in the world, but we're still unable to govern ourselves with sensible rules and regulations, particularly when it comes to sex.

We've dug out the funniest sex legislation from around the world, although it seems our American cousins are keener than most when it comes to governing the sex lives of their inhabitants.  Prepared to be astonished, stunned and in stitches.

  • In the UK it's illegal for two adult men to have sex in the same house as a third person.
  • Up until 1999 there was no age of consent in Japan; it is now age 13.
  • Singapore, well known for its punitive laws, has made it illegal for homosexuals to even live in the country. Oral sex is illegal unless it's a form of foreplay, as is pornography. It is even illegal to walk around your house naked because it's considered a pornographic act!
  • In Sweden prostitution is legal but it's illegal for anyone to use the services of a prostitute.
  • In Thailand it's illegal to leave your house if you aren't wearing underwear.
  • It is illegal to sell, produce or distribute 'sexual stimulation devices' in the state of Alabama, USA. Anyone found guilty, faces penalties of up to $10,000, one year in jail or one year's hard labour.
  • In the state of Arizona it is illegal to have more than two dildos in the same house.
  • In Bozeman, Montana it's illegal to embark on any kind of sexual activity in your back garden, naked, after sundown.
  • In Newcastle, Wyoming, it's illegal for couple to have sex whilst standing inside a shop's walk-in meat freezer!
  • In the Nogales, Arizona, an ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.
  • In Merryville, Missouri, women are prohibited from wearing corsets because "the privilege of admiring the curvaceous, unencumbered body of a young woman should not be denied to the normal, red-blooded American male."
  • A state law in Illinois mandates that all bachelors should be called master, not mister, when addressed by their female counterparts.
  • In Mississippi adultery or unmarried fornication results in a $500 fine and/or 6 months in prison.
  • In New York an old law means you can be fined $25 for flirting. The aim of this legislation was to prevent men turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." If you are found guilty of this crime a second time the violating male is forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
  • In New Mexico state officials banned Romeo and Juliet until 400 words of "sexually explicit material" were removed from the text.
  • Oral sex is still illegal in many American states including San Francisco, Indiana, Maryland, Minnesota, Tennessee, Missouri and Virginia. In Arkansas oral sex is classed as sodomy, in North Carolina it is legally outlawed as a crime against nature. But you're worst off in Virginia where it's classed as a 'misdemeanour' punishable by one year in jail and $2,500 fine.
  • Tennessee's sex laws are particularly contradictory, distasteful and obviously created by men. Although the law states that it's illegal to give or receive oral sex, the age of consent is 16, but is lowered to 12 if the girl is a virgin.
  • In Utah it's illegal to have sex in a moving ambulance. If caught the woman is fine and named and shamed in the local papers. The man gets off scot-free and remains anonymous.
  • In Cleveland, Ohio, women aren't allowed to wear patent shoes just in case a passing man sees a reflection that he shouldn't!
  • In New York it's illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing" but it's legal to walk around topless providing it's not for business purposes.
  • In Minnesota, it's illegal for any man to have sexual intercourse with a live fish whilst in San Francisco it's illegal to have sex with a porcupine(??!!). But if bestiality is your cup of tea, and you're a man, then head over to West Virginia where it's legal for a male to have sex with an animal as long as it does not exceed 40 lbs.
  • In Alexandria, Minnesota men aren't allowed to make love to their wife if his breath smells of garlic, onions or sardines. The law states that a man has to brush his teeth if his wife asks him to.
  • San Franciscans are also prohibited from wiping their car with used underwear - the mind boggles.
  • In Georgia erotic dancing is prohibited on a Sunday and adult book and video stores may only be open to the public if they have non-absorbent and smooth textured floors. There must be a wealth of activity in Georgia's adult stores then!
  • In Walnut, San Francisco men may not dress as a female unless a special permit is obtained from the sheriff and in Florida it's illegal for a man to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.
  • In Lewes, Delaware it's illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.
  • If both parties voluntary participate in 'unnatural intercourse' in Mississippi they are liable to a maximum sentence of 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine.
  • In Florida, North Carolina, Montana and Virginia it's only legal to have sex in the missionary position.
  • In Virginia, not only is it illegal to have sex with the lights on, but oral and anal sex is outlawed and it's illegal to tickle women. In the town of Lebanon in Virginia, you may not kick your wife out of bed and in Norfolk, Virginia, a man can face up to 60 days in jail for patting a woman's bottom.
  • In Massachusetts it's illegal to have sex if the woman is on top.
  • In Hartford, Connecticut it's illegal for a man to kiss his wife on a Sunday. In Florida it's illegal for a man to kiss his wife's breasts.  In Iowa kisses may not last longer than 5 minutes and in Oregon it's illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during sex.
  • In Dyersburg, Tennessee it's illegal for a woman to call a man for a date and in Montana, it is illegal for married women to go fishing alone on Sundays, and illegal for unmarried women to fish alone at all.
  • Couples in Liberty County, New Jersey face a jail term if they accidentally beep the horn whilst frolicking in a parked car, but in Coeur d'Alene in Idaho a police officer has to beep his horn, flash his lights and wait three minutes before approaching a car in which he suspects the occupants are having sex! In Detroit it's legal to have sex in the car if it's parked in your own drive way.
  • In Illinois Champaign in Idaho it's illegal to urinate in your neighbours mouth.
  • You are liable to be fined if tissues are found in the back of a car parked in Oklahoma.

By Rachael Hannan

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