This is a first. I’ve never been on a luxury cruise before and I’m turning 60 this year! So it’s time I discovered what devotees rave about! I don’t know what to expect, other than cliché images of languid bodies lazing on a sun-drenched deck.
So with a surprising assault to the senses we step out of the hushed lift onto Deck 15 into a full-on salsa dance party with joyful music pumping and people jumping, their tanned arms and legs glistening in the sunshine as dazzling as their smiles!
Animated guests are chatting by the busy bar or sprawled on sun loungers revealing flamboyant flesh with inhibitions flung into the high seas. Children are splashing in clear blue pools and zooming down water slides, squealing with delight! So this is cruising; utter devotion to pleasure, non-stop entertainment, pure hedonism!
How did this happen? On an ordinary, grey Sunday afternoon I am transported from Heathrow to Barcelona Port to board the Norwegian Epic for a cruise around the Mediterranean and glimpse into another world – a floating world of endless delights. When I meet up with my group of fellow journalists and bloggers, we’re given a guided tour, exploring the magnificent ship.
I am elated by the vibrant, frenetic scene swarming with excited, seasoned cruisers – people of all shapes and sizes, ages and nationalities happily rubbing shoulders in this unique international community.
Inter-generational family holidays are popular with grandparents, parents and kids enjoying a vast range of activities. The unstructured “Free and Flexible” concept has created this relaxed atmosphere with guests free to choose whatever activities they fancy, everything from rock climbing to sushi making! And guests can eat and drink whenever they like!
As Valentina, our Italian guide and Sarah, our London PR girl, show us around the 19 decks of this floating city, I am awe struck by the scale and splendour of the ship but strangely I quickly feel at home! The décor is opulent but also warm and homey, impressive and tasteful, not glitzy and kitsch.
We glide past the art gallery through the surreal Casino lounge on Deck 6 and marvel at the funky bowling alley and discover the heart of the lavish entertainment area; the plush Epic Theatre, the colourful Siegel Tent, the Headliner’s Comedy Club and the groovy new Cavern Club, styled on the famous Liverpool club that launched the Beatles.
These elegant venues are surrounded by an array of exotic bars and restaurants; the Sake Bar, the Bliss Ultra Lounge, Malting’s Whiskey Bar and the exhilarating Ice Bar to name just a few. Fine dining restaurants include The Manhattan Room, Le Bistro for gourmet French cuisine, the Shanghai Asian Restaurant and La Cucina. Food lovers are in heaven!
But if your taste buds prefer plainer fare and plenty of it, you can eat delicious, fresh food non-stop all day from the eye-popping Garden Café buffet! Most of the restaurants and bars are all inclusive so it’s tempting to eat and drink to excess! Despite this freedom to indulge, I see no evidence of guests behaving badly!
My mind is racing! How is all this possible? I am trying to imagine the logistics of carrying food supplies to feed the hungry hoards and water to service the cabins with daily hot showers.
The secrets are hidden in the hull! Massive tanks carry tonnes of water and armies of workers service the guests every whim by racing along a super highway below deck.
This magnificent cruise ship is like a gigantic, graceful swan floating along serenely while the frantic work of paddling goes on beneath the surface.
The mighty Norwegian Epic has a capacity for 4100 guests with a crew of 1724 dedicated workers (with 865 staff just on food).
The gross tonnage is 155,873 and the overall length is 1,081 feet, as long as the Eiffel Tower is high! I realise just how long the corridors are when I get lost returning to my cabin!
My stateroom cabin is as spacious as a hotel room with a double bed and private balcony view of the ocean and distant landscape of the Mediterranean coastline. My concierge is cheerful and friendly and his housekeeping is impeccable. There are 2,114 guest staterooms; over half have balconies while the others are suites, villas and studios and 42 rooms are wheelchair accessible.
Epic was the flagship for many years, the pride of Norwegian Cruise Line, but she has recently been surpassed by the dazzling new Escape. And the Norwegian Joy will be launched in 2017.
The impressive fleet of 14 premium contemporary ships offers cruises everywhere from Alaska, the Caribbean and Europe to South America and New Zealand.
I wonder how many of these incredible “floating cities” cruise the world’s oceans and Google tells me there are 230 cruise ships currently operating and another 44 scheduled to come online in the next few years.
Entertainment and dining
On Sunday evening we are treated to the spectacular dinner show, Cirque Dreams in the mysterious Spiegel Tent. Sitting high up we get a bird’s eye view of the thrilling aerial acrobatics with talented performers doing extraordinary contortions! Such feats of flexibility and strength have us gasping in disbelief! Intricate juggling acts, human balancing acts, skating duets, magical costume changes, risqué burlesque and humorous skits provide a feast of mind-boggling entertainment!
After the show I am happy to wander off to my cabin, full to the brim with sensory stimulation, while my younger colleagues head for one of the many enticing bars for an exotic nightcap.
On Monday morning I start the day with a yoga class with Thomas, the Dutch instructor, and a group of Asian ladies. The Pulse Fitness Centre is immaculate! Having worked up an appetite, I join Jenny, a newspaper journalist from Aberdeen, for a gourmet breakfast in the Taste café.
Mid-morning is free time and the sun is blazing through a vivid blue sky so the only place to be is on deck in my swimmers, laying horizontal where I experience the “worries” and “problems” unique to cruising! Being spoilt for choice, I feel an anxiety creeping over me; the 21st century affliction known as FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out! What else could I be doing? The Salsa class perhaps? This is definitely a “First World problem” of our consumptive society, not suffered by the countless millions living in poverty and deprivation.
All ship shape on deck
There are a few more challenges to deal with; claiming my ideal spot on a sun lounger amongst the human blanket covering the deck and once settled all I have to worry about is: “How’s my tan coming along?” Yes, this cruising experience is the great escape from life’s pressures and stresses!
Lying in the gentle sun, feeling the breeze caress my cheeks, watching the open ocean roll past, I listen to the hum of the engine, snippets of unknown languages and the upbeat music wafting across the crowded deck.
Adults and kids swish down the curly water slide, giggling and posing for snaps as they land with splash! For now, these playful pleasure-seekers are carefree with mundane life a distance memory!
On Monday afternoon our group is invited to a Behind the Scenes tour. Part of me doesn’t want to spoil the magical illusion of effortless perfection above deck by witnessing the reality of the hard work down below. But my curiosity wins!
Our charming Peruvian hostess gives a talk and slide show about the history of The Norwegian Way and it is surprising to learn that such a massive, complex company started out as a modest family business in 1924 and grew through the decades into the phenomenon it is today.
The mega-class Epic was built in France by an army of engineers and skilled workers and completed in 2010 at a cost of $US1.2 billion.
Behind the scenes in the floating hotel
We’re shown around back stage of the grand Epic Theatre and sneak a look at the tiny dressing rooms the performers squeeze into amongst the racks of extravagant costumes.
And then we venture deep below deck to the “Highway 99” of human traffic that rushes from one end of the ship to the other delivering food and supplies to the pampered guests above. We are allowed to sneak a look at the massive galley of stoves and steel benches with the chefs and waiters enjoying a momentary lull before the dinner frenzy. There’s even a full-scale bakery producing fresh bread and cakes daily!
I try to imagine the unusual lifestyle of cruise ship workers who spend from six to nine months at sea before having a break on land with their families and friends. There are plenty of social activities for the crew and continual training sessions.
After the tour we meet four performers from the glamorous shows for a Q&A chat. The talented dancers and singers from around the world are clearly devoted to their art and strive for excellence, rehearsing and refining techniques before every show.
Next we visit the Splash Academy especially for kids! Clubs are divided into age groups, catering for toddlers from three to teenagers of 17, offering an exciting range of activities from crafts and sports to dress-up parties based on nautical themes. So whenever parents want to enjoy some grown-up activities, they can enrol their kids in supervised sessions, knowing they are having loads of fun!
Monday night some of our group opts for Japanese Teppanyaki while others choose to dine in French style at Le Bistro. I am delighted by my superb three-course vegetarian meal, which is just as artistically presented as the succulent meat and seafood dishes.
Burn The Floor showcases every style of dancing from aristocratic waltzes and ballroom extravaganza to punk rock and seductive Latin moves! The show is enthralling!
Naples – an open air museum
On Tuesday I wake up to a vision of Naples. The landmark Castel dell’Ovo looms over the Italian coastal city of pretty peach-coloured hillside buildings under the shadow of Mount Vesuvius. What a picture! Today I get to tick my Bucket List!
Guests can choose from five shore excursions: Capri, Sorrento and Pompeii; the Amalfi Coast and Pompeii; the Ruins of Herculaneum; Walking through Naples, Pizza and Secret Tunnels or Sorrento and Naples Sightseeing with Pizza Tasting! Wow!
I opt for a walking tour of Naples. Our charming Italian guide, dapper in mint green trousers, declares: “I love you, I love you, I love you” through our headsets and swears the sun “smiles” here for 340 days of the year!
He leads us through bustling narrow laneways famous for stringing laundry overhead between the high rise apartments and explains that in these close communities neighbours know each other’s business, overhearing domestic arguments and sharing all their troubles and delights! “Nothing is hidden. There are no secrets in Naples!”
Our cheeky guide tells us the locals have four cups of strong espresso a day, which is considered “Napoli Viagra” and he recommends the famous “sfogliatella” lemon ricotta pastry with an espresso to kick start the day. I can not resist and yes, it is sublime!
Volunteer tour guide, Faviona is eloquent, passionate and entertaining as she regales us with stories and quirky facts as we navigate the chilly underground tunnels of Naples! What started out as quarries for the rock to build the city in ancient times, evolved into an elaborate aqueduct system before being used as extensive bomb shelters for families in World War Two. The remains of beds, utensils and poignant photos capture the misery of waiting out the war underground.
A gigantic Margarita Pizza in an authentic Napoli Pizzaria with beautiful hand painted ceramic tables and… yes, more expresso and irresistible pastry push my low-carb diet into the zone of No Return! I blame Italy for such indulgence!
Back on the ship, we explore the inner sanctum of the exclusive Haven where guests enjoy luxurious secluded lounges and Deck 17 all to themselves while solo travellers can meet each other in their private club lounge.
Late afternoon I experience the bliss of the thermal pools and saunas and I’m so relaxed I drift back to my cabin to change for dinner at the savvy Manhattan Room.
What a sensational experience! I’ve tasted just three nights of euphoric cruising and I now understand why people see these vibrant floating playgrounds as a home away from home and get hooked on repeat cruises. Some even say it’s the only way to travel!
Miraculously these heavenly fly-cruises are affordable. Prices for seven nights start from just £599 per person!Last modified: June 10, 2021